Anger is a normal and healthy emotion. We have learned at an early age that anger is a bad emotion. But the truth is that anger is not good or bad, positive or negative. It is simply an emotion that needs to be expressed. It is the way you express this emotion that is important.

A lot of people don’t express their anger because they have learned that showing anger is a bad thing to do. They are afraid that they might hurt someone or themselves, that they lose control or get rejected by the people around them. They feel that by showing their anger, they are giving their power away; the other person wins.

But when you suppress anger it will turn inwards. It can develop into a depression or into physical problems like headaches, back or neck problems, high blood pressure, constipation, extreme tiredness, stroke and heart attack, etc.

The first step of dealing with and solving anger is acknowledging that you are angry. A good way of releasing angry energy is by grabbing a pillow and hit it until your angry energy is released. Sit in your car with the windows up and scream at the top of your lungs. Write a letter to the person you are angry with and write down exactly what makes you so angry (you can burn the letter afterwards if you want).

Physical activity will help you get rid of the angry energy, but it doesn’t solve the anger. It is important to solve the angry feeling, because it will create more angry energy if not solved. After you have released the angry energy, get in touch with yourself and find the underlying feeling. This can be hurt, fear, or a feeling of powerlessness.

An example can be that you are angry with your partner because he/she keeps on flirting with other people. You are hurt because it gives you the feeling he doesn’t love you enough. You are afraid that you might lose him/her.

You can use positive affirmations to deal with your hurt, fear or feeling of powerlessness. Examples of positive affirmations are:

• I am special and wonderful person.
• I live free from struggle and fear
• I draw love into my life and I accept that I deserve it now
• I am successful in everything I do
• I am growing stronger and more powerful every day.
  

Once you acknowledge and express all your feelings and understand where that angry feeling is coming from, you will notice that you can deal more easily with the situation.

After that you can decide whether or not you want to talk to the person that made you feel angry. This can be in person, by phone or by writing a letter.

When you have released the anger, don’t forget to compliment yourself. You have released your anger in a positive and healthy way!