Holding a grudge is like having an open wound that does not heal. You feel hurt by someone who has done you wrong. Instead of getting over it, you are reliving painful memories and opening up the wound. You keep the feeling of hurt alive.

Holding a grudge is a self destructive behaviour. The only one who gets punished by it is your self, not the person who has caused you the pain. Not only do you feel emotionally hurt, but if you do not deal with your grudge, you can also get physical problems. Stress levels can go up, your muscles can get tensed, your blood pressure may rise, your energy levels become low, etc.

When you think about it, holding a grudge is not exactly beneficial for you. If it is not beneficial, why do people hold a grudge? Maybe it has to do with attention. If they tell other people what horrible thing has happened to them they get sympathy or even admiration for how they handled a situation. Or maybe they are so overwhelmed with pain and anger that they don not know how to let go or forgive.

Imagine that you are carrying a backpack with you for the rest of your life. In that backpack are all your experiences; good and bad. But the space in the backpack is getting smaller the older you get. You can not store all experiences in there. If you have to repack it to make it all fit, would you put an experience in there that was painful? Would you put an experience in there that will leave you with an open wound? I personally would prefer to carry a backpack around with good experiences and I’m sure you would chose to do the same. So if something is not beneficial to you, simply throw it out!

So how do we let go of that grudge?

The first step of every problem is recognizing that we have a problem. We have to recognize the fact that we hold a grudge and that we are the only ones getting punished by it. When you are ready to admit that this is indeed a problem you are ready to deal with it.

Stop opening up that wound! Get control over your thoughts. Your thoughts have an enormous power and help create your future reality. So get rid of your self destructing thoughts and focus on the positive things in your life. Use positive affirmations and say that you are willing to let go.

Try to forgive the person who has done you wrong. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. We feel we need an apology or some sense of justice before we can let things go, but this will not always happen. Forgiveness is the best thing for ourselves because it will stop us from self punishment in the future. Forgiveness does not mean that you have forgotten about what happened, but that you have let it go. If you do not know how to forgive, start by saying that you are willing to forgive. The universe will take care of the rest.

Forgiveness will set your self free!