Meditation is getting more popular and more people are making it a part of their lives. But what is meditation? A lot of people think it is something mystic or vague. But fact is that everyone can do it or probably already have done it without being aware of it.

Meditation is a state of calm awareness. You relax your body, but your mind stays alert. You do not simply block out thoughts like many people think; you are just not actively thinking. When you meditate you are in a passive, but watchful state.

The difference between relaxation and meditation is that with relaxation your mind wanders around while your mind is focused or alert when you meditate. When you meditate you focus your mind on something. You can focus on an object, an image, a sensation or for example your breath.

When your mind starts to wander, just bring it back. Do not give any weight to your thoughts. By focusing your mind on one thing you get into a state in which your mind is quiet, but you are ‘aware’ of the sensations of the moment. You are living in the present; in the moment.

You do not always have to sit with your eyes closed to meditate. A lot of people meditate by consciously doing a simple activity; for example petting their cat. They consciously feel the sensation of the fur on their hand; hear the purring of the cat, etc. They focus on the sensations of that moment.

Personally I like to meditate while I swim laps. I focus on each breath I take, on the rhythm of the strokes and how the water feels on my skin. After an hour of swimming I feel great when I come out of the water.

Another way to meditate is to detach yourself from your thoughts. You do not have to block your thoughts, but you watch them go pass; like clouds in the sky.

Meditation does not always have to be long. You can do a formal meditation of 20 minutes, but sometimes just a few seconds is all it can take. You can meditate at home, in a classroom, at work, in your car at the stoplights, in your garden, etc.

We most likely get into a relaxed but aware state when we do something we enjoy. Because when we enjoy something it attracts us and we focus on it. This can be simple things like:

• Listening to our favorite music
• Doing exercise with awareness
• Eating delicious food
• Watching birds play
• Lying on the beach listening to the waves

Doing the things mentioned above it might bring us in a calm and aware state, but it does not always garantee it. If we are upset we can do the things we enjoy but our thoughts keep us occupied or our mind wanders around and we are not aware of the sensations around us. For example: you are sitting at a beautiful lake with fish and ducks swimming around, but you are not aware of them because your thoughts are the only thing you give your attention to.

So in order to meditate we need to relax consciously whenever we want and under any circumstance. We need to:

• Relax our body
• Focus our mind on one thing
• Shift from thinking to sensing
• Be in the present; in the moment

Our environment is constantly changing and stress is the ‘wear and tear’ our bodies are experiencing when we adjust to that. When our environment is changing it can have physical and emotional effects on us and can create positive or negative feelings. Stress can help us or put up resistance when we are trying to cope with these different circumstances.

Stress does not always have a negative influence; it can also be a positive one. As a positive influence it can help you get into action, it helps you make aware of things or gives you a new perspective. A lot of people claim they deliver the best work when they are stressed. But when stress has a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejection, anger and depression. This can even lead into physical problems like headaches, upset stomach, rashes, sleep problems, ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease or even a stroke.

In order to avoid problems as described above we need to learn how to deal with stress. We do not necessarily have to eliminate stress completely. If we have insufficient stress in our life it can give us the feeling of being bored or dejected. But on the other side, if we have too much stress we might feel we are on the edge, are over-stimulated and run more on adrenaline rather than energy. So we need to find a balance of stress that helps us motivate but not overwhelm us. There is no rule however for how much stress a person can take. We are individuals and we all have different responses to a distressing event.

Like most problems the first step of managing stress is recognizing that you are stressed. But recognizing and being aware of its effect is not enough to reduce the damaging effects it can have on us. In order to manage stress successfully we have to work hard toward changing the source of stress and/or changing our reaction to it.

The key to stress management is relaxation. This can be very different for every person. Some people like to work out in the gym; others like to watch a movie. Do whatever that is relaxing for you. As long as you are lowering the input to, and the stimulation of our nervous system that creates the atmosphere of relaxation.

The following six steps will help you manage your stress.

1. Become aware of the source of your stress and how you react to it.

• Don’t ignore the fact that you are stress, be aware of it
• Get to the source; what events are distressing you?
• How is your body responding to stress?

2. Find out what you can change

• Can you change the source of your stress?
• Can you avoid the source of your stress, take a break from it or eliminate it?
• Do you have the time and energy to make a change?

3. Reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions to stress

• Accept and understand what reactions you have to stress
• Are you being realistic about the situation or are you overreacting and exaggerating?
• Do you feel you must always prevail in every situation?
• Try to see stress as something you can cope with instead of the stress overwhelming you.
• Put the situation in perspective.

4. Learn to moderate your physical reactions to stress.

• A good exercise to bring your heart rate and respiration back to normal is taking deep and slow breaths.
• Take some time out every day for relaxation. Meditation is very good for this and can reduce muscle tension and physiological symptoms.
• You can temporarily take prescribed medications to reduce physical reactions, but please note that they are not the answer. It is better in the long term to learn to moderate these reactions on your own.

5. Build your physical reserves.

• Get fit. Start doing moderate exercise; this can be walking, swimming, cycling or something else you enjoy. Physical exercise is known to reduce symptoms of stress.
• Eat healthy and drink lots of water
• Avoid alcohol, nicotine, excessive coffee or any other stimulants. Your body is already hyped up from the stress.
• Get rest. Make sure you get enough sleep and if you can not sleep, make sure you let your body rest.

6. Maintain your emotional reserves.

• Develop supportive friendships or relationships.
• Do not be hard on yourself. Be realistic and kind. Accept the fact that life is not always a fairytale and that it is normal to experience some difficulties along the way.

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If you have been into a traumatic experience your body needs time to heal, but also your mind and emotions need to adjust after the emotional shock of the incident.

It is important that you recognise that you have been through a highly stressful experience and that you will have a psychological reaction to it. If you refuse to acknowledge this or when you are in denial you delay the process of recovery.

In my previous post Common responses to a traumatic experience you can read what physical and emotional responses you might get after a traumatic experience. It is important to confront the reality and get on the road of recovery.

Below you will find a list of things that will help you adjust to the experience:

• Don’t try to fight recurring thoughts, dreams and flashbacks. It is very normal to have them following a traumatic experience. You will notice that decrease over time.

• Talk to the people who care about you about what has happened. It might be painful at first, but it will help you come to terms with the incident.

• Keep a journal. Writing down your thoughts can work very therapeutic, especially when you find it difficult to talk about what happened.

• Get rest. Even if you can not sleep, do not stay up late but try to let your body rest.

• Try to exercise on a regular basis within the limits of your injury. Exercise is good at reducing the physical effects of stress and trauma.

• Try to avoid stimulants like coffee, tea, cola, cigarettes and chocolate. These stimulants increase the level of your arousal while your body is still hyped up from the incident.

• Do not seek comfort in ways to numb the pain like alcohol or drugs. This will only add to your problem in the long term.

• Take some time out to relax. Meditation, yoga or breathing exercises can be very helpful.

• Try to get back to your normal routine as soon as possible. This does not mean that you have to throw yourself into work or activities just to try to avoid unpleasant feelings or memories. Take it easy!

• Do not isolate yourself. It is understandable that you want to be alone sometimes, but do not become isolated. Stay in touch with your friends and family.

• Do activities you like. Do not punish yourself even more after your horrible experience. Do things you enjoy and be good for your self.

• Help and support people who have been through the similar experiences. It can be very important to them to have someone who understands and supports them.

• Do not make any major life decisions in the time following the traumatic experience. You might regret your decision later; instead make many small decisions on a daily basis. This will help you get back the feeling of control over your life.

• Allow yourself to feel bad about what happened. You have been through a traumatic experience, so do not beat yourself up if you feel rotten about it. But do not over react or dwell in it.

• Do not think you are crazy or that you are losing your mind. It is a perfectly normal reaction to what has happened. So do not label yourself crazy.